New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
