The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
