I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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