How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize