I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
