this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize