The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
