i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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