i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
