We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Success! We fucked roommates!
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