My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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