honey bunches of taint.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
