i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
