i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
