all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
