Will you blow on my dice?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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