I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
