The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
