all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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