i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
