Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
