when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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