We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
