I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
