guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
