Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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