Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize