They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
