I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
