This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
