I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
