But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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