I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
where am i from again
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
