Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize