Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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