It's Friday. Sex?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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