things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the condom got lost in my hair
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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