Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize