so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
