Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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