I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
