the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize