you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize