i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
