I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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