God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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