Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
