I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did I show you my penis last night?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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