enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
