I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
