so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize