so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
