Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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