this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize