remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize